Ellie de Verdier
30.3. - 12.7. 2019
Ellie de Verdier
The carer has planning and structuring capabilities. Life as a dependant is defined by these structures. It's time to eat, it's time to sleep, it's time for you to move out and be independent. The dependant represents incompetence, naivety, intuition and possibilities. To be let into the comfort that the carers structure provides the dependant should be useful or inspire love and interest. Ideally dependants possess a charming mix of gratitude and naturalness. Because the carer is responsible for timing, when and how things happen, they are also in charge of storage and need to keep a supply of food and other necessities. They economise and set boundaries to what is possible. Left to their own devices the dependants would overeat, oversleep and overindulge.
The obviousness of the needs and lacks of the dependant help the carer to develop, to see the bigger picture and to cement their position as functional. A good carer knows how to appreciate a bit of mischievousness from their dependant. However, occasionally the impulsive and uncontrollable element that the dependant adds can become too much for a carer. This can cause feelings of discomfort, fear and rage. Good carers know that in order to do their job properly they must first of all look after themselves.
It is important to resist the urge to use physical violence against dependants. Violence is generally regarded as unacceptable unless it is a reasonable punishment used for educational purposes. Dependants like to push boundaries, this can lead to unpredictable and frustrating behaviours. It is important to stay in control and not be afraid of enforcing rules.
A house is a shared space where the dependant and the carer interact. It is commonly known that a house is as a metaphor for the psyche, various rooms and levels symbolise various aspects of ourselves. Just like an individual a home is an ecosystem with its own internal economy. A house with no dependants lacks dynamics, one could say it is like a psyche without an id. Dependants bring desire and impulsivity; their neediness reminds us of the goals we can attain through self-control. A carer cannot and should not wish to know all of what goes on in the mysterious half formed world of the dependant. It is desirable and simple for anyone to produce their own dependants. The order of dependants can include but is not limited to children, employees and spouses.
- Olga Pedan